So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
