how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
