The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
