just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
