Don't you send me to vm
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
