So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
