i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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