YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
