Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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