This girl is more easily done than said...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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