Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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