Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
