i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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