The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
