u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
