i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
