butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm like, not good at living.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
