if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
