just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
