dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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