Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
