It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
