What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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