hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
