Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
