Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she pinky promised me she was 18
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
