I CAN MOONWALK!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
