You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Sober January is a disaster.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
