TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize