You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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