Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
