What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize