You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
high people should be assigned attendants
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
