office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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