oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
