Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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