thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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