Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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