She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
