we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i dont even know how to be here
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
