I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was confusing and full of hummus
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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