I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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