You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
