Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
