Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
