We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
