This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
