Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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