He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize