It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
