He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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