is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I will be naked everywhere
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
