Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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