Well douche your snatch and let's go!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
