It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize