i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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