I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize