yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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