can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
