am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
